Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So I need a new job

So I've finished a number of books since I last wrote here. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers was one. Nineteen Seventy-Four by David Peace was another. A Coffin for Dimitrios by Eric Ambler and Delirium by Laura Restrepo were two more. More on that later.

I'm working on The Map of Love by Ahdaf Soueif and it is bad. It was a Booker finalist so I bought it 3 for a $1 at the library in my quest to read supposedly good literature but it is only reinforcing my realization that the people who give these prizes out don't have any better taste than anyone else. This book is a mess. It's basically an excuse for the author to show her historical research and jerk off about her (idealized) culture and it's political situation.

So we're in Egypt, right? And this woman Amal has a long lost American cousin Isabel who found a trunk containing her great-grandma's stuff. Isabel is in love with Amal's brother Omar who puts the two in touch so Amal can translate the papers in the trunk. See, Anna the great-granma was married to Amal's father's uncle 100 years ago. So part of the book is Amal's diary from 1997, part is Anna's diary and letters from 1901, and a few segments are from Isabel's point of view although she's not really very important. Don't worry, the change in perspective with a century dividing them doesn't leave you with whiplash; none of these characters have a personality.

Anna was widowed when her husband died from, I don't know, malingering, because it turned out war is bad, so she goes to Egypt. There she is kidnapped by rebels because she had dressed as a man and they take her to their master's house and she meets a gorgeous pasha who insists on taking her sightseeing. And if this sounds like something out of a third rate romance novel that's because it is and, no, Ahdaf, slyly winking at the audience about it doesn't make it okay. If you're not going to rise above cliches it's still eye-roll worthy no matter whether you acknowledge it or not.

In 1997 Amal takes Isabel around to see things and meet people though this is somewhat complicated because Isabel is *an American*. In these segments we learn Amal is, for some reason, no longer with her husband and she came back home from England to become a recluse and this thing with Isabel is finally drawing her out of her shell. She muses how Isabel is just starting in life and how her life is just ending. People treat her like an old lady. The family tree at the beginning of the book makes it clear she's 45. I can no longer take this character (or author) seriously.

Amal and the author get to expound at length about politics and other really boring stuff. The worker's are mistreated! The Egyptian people are always beset by evil outside forces like the British and now the Americans and the Jews (oh, excuse me, I mean the Israelis)! The government is controlled by the Americans! We have our victim hat firmly in place oh yes we do! Power to the people! Then Amal takes Isabel to her country mansion where the peasants who farm her land bring her offerings of goods and food while she graciously serves tea. All of her loyal servants love their dear mistress so, so much, she's such a fine lady. Won't she solve all her problems for them? (That noise in the background is me gagging.) (Also, I mean no disrespect but Ahdaf's writing is so English it hurts.)

There's a glossary in the back so you can look up all the Arabic phrases and words she slathers on the text. There are a few anti-Semitic mini rants that I'm saddened but not surprised to see have mainly gone unmentioned in critic's reviews.

Anna. Beautiful, understanding Anna. She of the golden hair and violet eyes. The progressive woman who feels liberated when she travels wearing a veil. She's so kind and not at all afraid when she's kidnapped. She can't tell what the aloof and distant pasha thinks of her but his seeming indifference bothers her and she's not sure why. She gets along wonderfully with his sister. They're so lucky their society has no problems outside of what the big, bad foreigners bring. Isn't it fantastic that none of the characters have any sort of conflict at all?

Huuuuuurrrraaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

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